Mamaws Teachings

Mamaw was very ill, she was dying from lung cancer. August was here and I new it was a matter of time for her to go . Praying every night before bed that she wouldnt go on my birthday, Aug. 22 . Fortunately for me she went home on the 29 , just 7 days later . She said to me once that I was her " child with an old soul". Always felt out of sorts too ,like I should have been from an earlier time! ? The first thing I can say I learned from her was to love unconditionally ( there's a lot of pain that comes with that). And it doesnt always mean you have to like either ! Patience ......to listen and to give . You may have a different opinion or you may not like what is being said but there is always something to learn if you listen! To give of myself to others, because its free . And when you give of yourself( from the heart !) it comes back . Treat all as if they were JESUS !! and that can be quite difficult at times !!! , I make myself stand back and say " I know its really not but what if ? ". Like , have you ever looked into , and I mean really looked into the eyes of a child ? If you dont see JESUS in there then you havent really looked !!! I cherish looking into childrens eyes !! Not just my children or grand children , but them all . I encourage you to look next time your out in the grocery . Just give a little smile and see what you get in return . Its like magic ! Now for the last , forgiveness . We all need to forgive daily . Try not and let it exceed the day . It becomes harder to find the forgiveness sometimes as days pass . Try not to say that you cant or that its unforgivable . But remember above all that JESUS does ! and to me to say that I cant forgive is to say that Im better than him . Well , and that certainly wont happen ! My Mamaw was so loving and giving , feminine and yet very strong and indepedant too ! That was a bit of a rarety for her time . For I've heard stories (as she was a single parent of three ), that when she bought a new home and had no grass in the yard that she used an old hand tiller to prepare her yard for seed. And being the entreprenuer that she was , she would hand till other neighbors yards for extra money. She would make mr & mrs santa dolls , ceramic x-mas trees , hanging perched owls , and many many others ! She was also the owner of a Tavern in louis. ky. Crippling arthritis she had in her hands , her fingers were all bent towards her pinky fingers . But never did it hold her back from getting done what needed to be done ! RC cola is what she drank and Belair cigarrettes is what she smoked . She had a thing about always trying to make everyone feel special . She was good at that too : ) At thanksgiving she would ask everyone, what is your favorite pie ? then she would see to it that the pie was there for them . It was a lot of fun for me to be with her as she cooked . I had an over head view as the kitchen she used to do all of her BIG cooking was in the basement. All I had to do was sit on the steps and I was on one side of the stove and counter and she was on the other . It was great ! I got to see and taste it all . Is that too much ? does it need more salt? And of course I got to lick all the spoons ! YUM ! And for her I was always in sight but never in the way . Sure wish I could talk to her , I have alot of questions . Proud I hope she is of me !

In the beggining !

At the age of 3 are my earliest recollections of life around me. We lived in okalona in a new 3 bedroom white brick ranch style house. My grandfather( William Jasper Mcdannold Sr.) on my dads side lived with us , as he was legally blind. My grandfather and I would go for walks about the time my sister Wendy would be comming home on the bus from school. We would hold hands and little did I know that I was his eyes as we would walk around the block. He would say to me , "stay on the side of the road now by the grass " . By the time we got around the block the bus would be comming and we would stand at the driveway for her . Always glad to see her as she was my bestest friend : ) The house I can see in every detail . My mothers dinner table , the glasses she used , bedspreads , throw rugs , you name it . My grandfather died in that house of a massive heart attack one morning while in the bathroom , 1968 . That was the year man walked on the moon !! He said it would never happen . He missed it but not by much. Thats one day I dont recall at all , him dying that is . Later I was told that my dad carried me down the hall with my head turned so I couldnt see , but I did , and said to him " I saw papaws piggy piggies " . Mom said after that I would talk about going for walks with him in the night time ! She said once after it had rained she wanted to go and look for foot prints outside as we still had a lot of mud rather than grass due to it being a new home . She never did , she said she was afraid too ! Not long after that I remember living at my grandmother Timbermans house . Not sure how much time had actually passed , maybe a year or so. My first heartbreak !! Around 4 - 4 1/2 I guess , My mom and dad took me to the guest room ( or my aunt barbara's room as I remember) and explained to me that they were getting a divorce. They explained to me as gently as they could what that was . They did a good job , but the hurt was still the same .Of course I loved my mom , but I was daddy's little girl !! Spent time with my mom so I longed for my daddy !! .......... He never came. At about 5yrs. or so a man delivered a small basket of flowers , a box of chocolates and the prettiest pair of ruffled socks a little girl could want , It was my birthday. They were from my daddy . Well , the flowers dried up , I refused to open the chocolates and or wear the socks . Trying to hang on to every little piece of him I could . It didnt work .My dad then remarried and had other children. That was hard too , but not real bad because I liked the children . Played with them before I was told who the children were. Already had a relationship with them. That was at about 6 yrs. or so when I had gone for a visit to Paris Ky. to be with my dads sister and her family and grandmother on my dads side . My youngest sister was born in 1972 . My mom married her dad and was married for a couple of years at most . They had a lot of trouble with the ex-wife butting in .Wendy and I stayed with my grandparents so we could attend school without changing again and we would go to my moms and winette's dads home on the weekend.When they divorced we moved to Oregon Wisconsin , Oh was it cold there, I hated it ! I remember comming home to my grandmother Timbermans house for christmas and not wearing a coat !! It felt sooo warm in comparison . Glad when we moved back , and back to the grandmothers house .We did move around quite a bit while I was growing up and attended alot of Schools too . Guess I adapted o.k. , never liked school . It was always a chore for me . One school I attended gave skating passes to champs roller rink . One for each passing grade and or satisfactory report you recieved .So that worked out pretty well for Wendy and I because that meant even tho mom didnt have the money for us to go , we had enough passes to go every weekend during the summer. A christian I've always considered myself . Even at a VERY young age I felt drawn to my JESUS. Growing up we never went to church on a regular basis but still went quite alot . First one church and then maybe another . Nonetheless I enjoyed them, the lessons , the songs , the rides on the bus . Inviting JESUS into my heart like I said came early . Mom went with us when she could as my mom was a single parent of 3 who recieved no child support of any kind. Money was always an issue. So, many times she would ride the bus with us . We always had a good time on the bus . In 1975 , january 12 ,I was baptized in the Beechmont Baptist Church of Louisville Ky., I was 9 years old . The pastor at the time was Eugene Enlow. Once while visiting my aunt , uncle and grandmother on my dad side of the family, and attending church with them the LORDS SUPPER was being passed, and when it was my turn my grandmother quickly told me to put that back because that was only for those who were born again christians and those who were saved !! She made a big deal out of it to my aunt as well on the way home , how it was embarrasing to her and that I should have known better. Confused and hurt to say the least , but I was not about to back talk to my grandmother. So I was knocked down a little from where I thought I was in my quest of being a christian. She made me feel so undeserving and that what I had achieved meant nothing. I questioned my faith !! On August 29, 1977 I lost my grandmother(Lottie Agnes Teague , Timberman ) on my moms side of the family to lung cancer. I was closer to her than anyone alive !! Off and on , myself and 2 sisters lived with her and my grandfather Carl Timberman. My world and all of its stability was ROCKED . For I had become a full fledged Mamaws girl . We cooked , we cleaned , baked , crafted , played , shopped , baked , did I say that already? It was great !! She taught me so much at such an early age , its hard even now for me to think of all the ways she has affected my life . And still does !!!